Crubcast

Today on the Crubcast, we decided to pick two of the most topical things that could possibly happen right now.

Today, at the time of this podcast releasing, the new Zelda game is out, so we thought, which Zelda character would win an election?

My name's Kevin, I'm here with three of my fellow co-crubbers, including Travis Guy.

Hi Trav.

Good morning.

Nicco Guy.

Hi Nicco.

It's I.

And Brody.

Brody Guy.

Hi Brody.

Oh God, that didn't work.

Oh no.

Brody Guy is down here.

Oh, for those listening in the audio realm, we have a video feed where Brody has changed his VTuber overlay to Gruce and Linebeck standing in Clock Town from Majora's Mask with a CNN overlay about stock prices.

So that's pretty cool.

Today, we're talking about which Zelda character, you think we're kidding, we're not, which Zelda character would win an election?

Trav, go.

All right.

I was not ready to be put on the spot immediately, so I'm just going to wing it.

All right.

So do we have to make like a whole platform?

You could just give us a little, are we just going to like BS it?

I don't think where this is a well rounded discussion here.

There's no parties.

There's no, you know, this is, do you?

On the contrary, I think the saving Hyrule party would be happy to adopt a Gruce into its party system.

He immediately would take the stage.

Gruce would offer absolutely no health care and would get 10% of the vote.

OK, so he's a spoiler candidate.

Yeah, absolutely.

OK, OK.

I don't know which character that is.

Gruce, Gruce is, if you take a look at my screen, Nicco, the one with the red pompadour.

Yeah, that's gross.

He's like a buff tingle.

He is loose.

You can say he's a buff tingle.

You could say that.

Yeah, I never thought of that.

Nicco, I'm laughing not because you're stupid, but because like I never thought of that.

I legitimately heard the theory that Tingle is a Gruce descendant.

Which Zelda character do you think would win an election?

Nicco, known Zelda player.

Um, so I was I was between well, OK.

We got to starting, I mean, after we go through our rounds, I would like to start this logically.

Of course, the logical place to look being, you know, your main protagonist and antagonist and then working our way downward from there.

However, the most electable is the link as the Zora.

Most electable, I would say, which like majority mask, Zora, Majora's mask, Zora's mask.

Sorry, I should disclose that Majora's mask is the only Zelda I've ever played.

And you're saying the link as the Zora.

Yeah.

Well, I was going to say the Zora.

And then I realized that the Zora was a like a species, like a people and not not.

They also are a monarchy.

Noteworthy.

OK, so well, half the half the country.

That's true.

But I mean, the all of Hymen rule is a monarchy.

And I feel like this is their establishing democracy.

Well, that's what Ganondorf is for.

He overthrows the government to found democracy.

That's what Gloom is.

Is that true?

The Anarchist King.

The Gloom in Tears of the Kingdom is Ganondorf spreading democracy.

Brody, what's your one-sentencer on, which, because I know, is that your ticket?

Is it Gruus Linebeck?

Yeah, yeah, it's the Gruus Linebeck 2024 ticket.

Gruus is going to, I have it, as you can see here, the breaking news, Gruus is going to deal with what he calls moon crash truthers.

People are saying that the moon is going to crash into Termina.

It's not, it's not.

Was he even alive when that happened?

Maybe.

Wasn't that before his time?

Majora, you know how there are three goddesses in the founding of Hyrule based on Skyward Sword?

There's Farin.

Those were words you said.

There's Farin, there's the...

I can't remember their actual names in Skyward Sword.

But there's Din, there's Lanayru, there's Neiru, and there's Farin.

Those are the three goddesses that are founded at the start of Skyward Sword.

My theory has always been that there's a fourth one, and that is Majora, the fallen goddess, the goddess of chaos, the Giratina of the Zelda lore, if you will.

The Giratina of the Zelda lore.

She was banished to a different realm, which is why Termina is a mirror of Hyrule.

As Gruus' running mate Linebeck would say, what is a god to a non-believer?

Well, and so let me take that to the next step.

My theory is that Gruus was the original...

You know how Link is the first reincarnation of the hero that saved the pre-Skyward Sword world?

My theory is that Gruus is the reincarnation of Majora.

No, so which Zelda character do I think would win an election?

Tingle is an easy one, but Tingle is a slave driver, so I don't think Tingle is a good one.

I haven't thought this through.

I asked this question when we started this podcast topic, and I never thought about it once.

I want to say, for the record, that Kevin pitched this to me a few days ago.

Well, not pitched it, he just told me like, hey, we're doing this for the podcast, be prepared.

And by be prepared, I mean, don't be prepared.

And so I intentionally didn't think about this, and I was just like, yeah, let's wing it.

And now I'm hearing you guys talk, stop talking.

And now I'm hearing you guys talking, and being like, man, I actually should have prepared something.

You guys are way more on top of this.

No, just those two, man.

I did the same thing you did, Trav, because I was like, oh, we'll work our way down from like importance of character and we'll like we'll take the crowd on this journey with us.

OK, I put this overlay together 50 minutes before we went live.

Yeah, like none of us are actually prepared.

We're just talking what we know about Zelda.

So so so I guess my personally, I think the one I would go with first as we as we broach this topic is the King of Red Lions, the boat from Wind Waker.

OK, spoilers for Wind Waker.

That is the King of Hyrule.

He's a boat.

Yes.

And I would say down with the monarchy, down with kings, all of the royal family.

But he's he's dead.

So he knows down with kings.

So he is the king who went down.

He's just a petty bitch.

And he wants to make sure the Ganondorf also isn't king.

OK.

Yeah, OK.

I mean, that's that's fair.

If the if the King of Red Lions and Ganondorf can can sort of, I mean, eat their own party alive.

If it was Ganondorf's dream to introduce democracy into Hyrule, then yeah, I mean, he he would be no better than those he opposes if he doesn't give him a chance to run.

Exactly.

Yeah, it's very true.

I have a thought that I'm not going to say.

I do want to highlight, Trav, that in the video feed at youtube.com/atkrebofficial, you have like even under glow light that makes you look like Ganondorf.

And I appreciate that.

It is not intentional.

It is a sliver of sunlight beaming on to my desk and my desk reflecting off my face.

I like that, but I like it.

Evil right now.

It's true.

So I do.

I do kind of look like the demon king Ganondorf right now.

Am I right, fellas?

So let's let's go around.

Nicco, you said Zora Link.

What do we think Zora Link's platform would be?

Well, I think that Zora Link's platform would be Hydro.

Sorry.

I think it would be largely based on environmentalism.

I think it would largely.

And I don't know much about the Zora.

I am wildly speculating here.

Are you assuming that all Zoras care about the environment?

I'm assuming that this particular one does.

Fellas, my opponent is kind of racist.

See, I don't know, because because Zora Link.

So Zora Link is for the children because he rescues all of the Zora kids.

The children.

OK, so education plan.

Yeah, maybe because he rescues all of his former person's wife's kids from different pirates and whatnot.

Right.

So he's definitely pro children.

OK.

Yeah.

Whereas I don't know.

I think Linebeck would be anti children.

Yes, that's probably that's yeah.

Lineback is definitely, definitely anti children.

Well, OK, wait, if we're saying pro children in the way of like...

Can someone refresh my memory, who is Linebeck?

Linebeck is the captain that accompanies Link during his quest in Phantom Hourglass.

He's the captain of the boat.

I know what you're talking about.

If we're saying they like children in that they will support education and uphold, you know, actual good for the children, then that's one thing.

But if they're saying they like children, as in they want people to just simply have more children and and thus don't support autonomy of women's bodies, that's a much different...

The dog didn't like that.

He sneezed at your thought.

Right.

Well, I'm just saying which...

Zora Link wouldn't be pro dog, because the dogs run from Zora Link.

Or no, the dogs try to sleep with Zora Link, actually.

Maybe I picked the wrong character.

He's pro inner species banging.

Maybe I picked the wrong character.

I don't think that we can trust Zora Link as a man that goes around wearing someone else's faces.

Yeah.

That's exactly what I was trying to get at earlier.

He's literally two-faced.

In fact, actually, he's four-faced.

Really?

Okay.

Isn't this literally the plot of the Canadian elections?

So then maybe, I mean, what do you guys think about the moon from Majora's Mask?

It's not crashing.

It's not crashing.

But do you think it would be electable?

You got to remember that Brody's whole platform with Groose is that like they're like truthers about the moon crashing.

Right.

So imagine that we got to think about the dynamic with the moon itself.

Well, I want to see the debate between the Groose Linebeck campaign and that one guy who does the really the way he's yelling at the moon, that guy, the bald, the bald foreman.

Right.

Right.

Well, you know, actually, Termina has a mayor and he's very stressed.

He would run for office, I think.

Because that's the only area in which there is a known election to happen in the Zelda universe that I can currently think of at this moment.

He can't take the stress of running a small town like Termina.

I don't think he can take-

But that's the entire world.

He's running the whole world of Termina, essentially.

That's the hub town, that's the New York, there's like ten people there.

It's a lot.

And as soon as Bruce says that, his approval rates in Termina go down.

Strastically.

Go down.

We support local government here.

Yeah, man, I don't know, I don't have a good read on enough on like the characters of the universe and like what their.

That makes us funnier.

Inner character is I only have a read on like basically their character design.

So I'll I'll throw one to you, Trav.

Hello.

What about Hudson from Hudson Construction?

Because he's kind of he's kind of a captain of industry.

He's kind of a robber baron.

I think I think Hudson would be great.

He is a man of the people for the people.

He builds houses for free.

He builds houses.

He also uses child labor.

But they're his kids.

I think that sounds like it sounds like a family business is family business.

We don't know if this is the case in Hyrule, but family business is in fact the way to get around.

Goron kids that like makes the screen turn black and make a popping noise.

Their last names are all sons.

So I'm assume so.

Oh, OK.

That's fair.

They could also adopt people so it's legal to employ children.

I said Captain of Industry, damn it.

But I can't argue with that.

He looks friendly.

He looks friendly.

He's like the nicest character in the whole game.

He his wife is like 10 feet tall.

Yeah, that's I see.

He's a short king.

Yeah, he is a short king.

He represents the people.

He's a short king.

OK, he's a short queen, then.

What do you want?

Yeah.

He's a short elect.

POTUS.

Yeah, I'm putting the I'm putting an end to short king.

I'm putting an end to short king.

Short King is now.

Can you?

Niko, you heard it here first on Norway's number one podcast.

Short King is banned.

Yeah.

So wait, what do we use to compliment short people?

Norway's number one podcast.

OK, I was number one.

Call them.

Speaking of Norway's number one podcast, make sure to follow us on all podcast platforms.

You can go to crub.org to find all of them again.

youtube.com/atcrubofficial.

We have a Patreon where we do a bunch of stuff.

That's even higher quality than this.

Where is our Patreon, Travis guy?

It is patreon.com/crub.

You're damn right.

We have a bunch of fun content there, including every time I try to pledge.

My payment doesn't go through, so I don't know what's happening.

Anyways, today we have something cool dropping for you over on the Patreon.

It's called Kevin.

What is it?

You can go to the Patreon.

We upload a bunch of stuff in both video and audio form every month.

We have multiple different tiers.

You can even support us for as little as two dollars a month just to ask us questions for our Patreon question of the week.

That's the equivalent of throwing one American quarter at Brody, which in Canadian hurts more.

So it's true.

And it's also a value list slash crub.

We have podcasting on the podcast where we talk about every episode of Pokemon.

We're watching them all as we go through, with some exceptions for filler.

You can join to join us for Book Crub.

It's a monthly thing where we we pick a game out from one of the free lists.

This month is Callisto Protocol, and we talk about it with you, the Crubbers and like a town hall sort of discussion, much like the town hall debate that Hudson would have against Linebeck.

Who is?

Wait, who's is Linebeck the president or vice president in this?

Linebeck is the VP.

OK, so he's like a dick Cheney.

He's running it.

OK.

Because there's no way there's no.

Well, listen, he's running it.

Groose has a lot of things that he has to get done.

Linebeck can do the rest.

Groose is a big picture man.

Groose doesn't waste time with all the little nitty gritty.

That's what Linebeck is here for.

They balance each other.

They're a perfect team.

So how do you think they would handle 9-11?

Because Groose is not going to read to kids.

He does not know how to read.

Yeah, I mean, I guess I guess the moonfalling is equivalent to to.

A second moon has hit Termina.

A second moon has hit Termina.

What's the name of the pillar tower that you stand on to get to the moon?

Stone Tower, Stone Tower Temple.

OK.

Well, actually, Stone Tower is the I'm sorry, Clock Tower is the one you're talking about.

But there are two towers in Majora's Mask.

There's Stone Tower and Clock Tower.

Oh, no.

Oh, man.

So I'm trying to think of other because we haven't really narrowed it down too much.

I did mention King of Red Lions.

My theory is that he is he has seen the post apocalypse, post climate change, flooded version of Hyrule.

So he knows how important the environment is in the same way that Zora Link does, but in a different way because he's not a fish, he's a boat.

And I think that's an important distinction to make for the the boat versus fish demographics.

No, it's true.

Boats float.

Fish can't empathize with breathing.

And in Wind Waker, Niko, you may or may not know this.

You don't.

In Wind Waker, the Zora are not able to swim in the water because it's also like a poisoned sort of ocean water.

So the Zoras in Wind Waker turn into birds via evolution.

They become the Rito.

OK, OK.

Yeah, no, I, I.

Wow.

I mean, so the fish evolves into birds just like in real life happened to my pet.

I was going to say, is it a statement on evolution?

I mean, it's not really a statement on anything, it's just kind of how it works.

A lot of time passes in between Zelda games, such as 100 years between between the two games we've talked about.

Let me paint you a picture of a humble farm boy who grew up in a small town and was thrown off of a cliff, jumped off of a cliff to chase his friend below the clouds and start a new life on the surface where he learned to laugh and to love and to cherish.

And a simple boy who just wants to do right by his people and his world, that man's name is Groose, and he is here to help.

He stopped, he was integral in stopping demise and sealing him without him, who knows where we would be.

And of course, his great running mate over here, Linebeck, the Great Sea, King of Red Lions, sailed it merely during its infancy, its birth.

Linebeck knows the Great Sea.

He's been around, he's even been to regions that aren't the Great Sea.

This is a worldly ticket.

This isn't this isn't someone who's just going to be, you know, oh, it's just it's just Hyrule.

These are these are globalists.

Jesus Christ.

So I want to point out that you said King of Red Lions has only sailed it in its infancy.

Link's grandma in Wind Waker is like 90, and the oceans have existed that whole time.

We could elect her.

She's not in comparison to the ocean.

She's not old enough.

Are you are you talking to Brody in character, not the character he is, he is.

But are you are you a moon truther because of globalists?

Like, do you just hate the globes as a concept?

Well, so I guess my question would then be, if if if Bruce fell, if Bruce fell from the sky, then he knows that things can fall.

So how is he denying the moon falling?

You can see it because I know it was what it is to fall.

And he knows that the moon could not fall.

The moon is not falling.

Stocks are going up.

Right.

So he's basically saying it happened to me.

And the situation is not that severe how it is currently.

Exactly.

I've fallen.

So I won't let you down.

I've fallen.

So I won't.

I've fallen and I won't get up.

I so.

I'll throw out another one.

Here's here's another one to think about.

Link from Breath of the Wild, because as Nicco mentioned, we could elect the grandma from Wind Waker because she is 90.

Link from Breath of the Wild is at least 100.

OK, at least 116 ish because he's frozen for 100 years.

Isn't Ganon isn't Ganon also really old?

It depends on your kind of a concept.

Yeah, so your opinion of reincarnation is like a force of nature.

I mean, certain Ganon's like I feel like the Ganon in Tears of the Kingdom is definitely older and that he doesn't reincarnate.

He kind of come to tears of the kingdom is weird because that closes a very different loop of Zelda lore.

Yeah, like that goes a whole different direction than than like as opposed to, let's say, Ganon, who is who was born into the Gerudo tribe.

That's a yeah.

Well, and Ganon being the only male in a species entirely of females knows what it's like to be left out.

So I think that Ganondorf would understand the plate of people that are downtrodden, of people that are down on their luck.

I mean, would he some people that are tired of the bullshit of Hyrule's king, who only cares about himself and his and his bitch daughter.

Kevin, I love that because you could you could have positioned that as like, oh, he grew up around all women, so he's very passionate about like reproductive rights.

But you instead went, he's an incel.

Yeah, I was going to say, like, is Ganondorf or Andrew Tate here?

What is going on?

Like Ganondorf can get it.

I don't think he's an incel.

I I think Ganondorf just understands like what it's like to be looked at as as an outsider by virtue of being the only male of his species every hundred years or so.

So you're putting him in the manifesto range, whereas I'm thinking more of like raised by women.

So he's empathetic and therefore what I'm saying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm saying he knows what it's like to be to be left out.

And like he can't he's not going to be allowed to to like run for office in the group.

Like I know they usually make him the king, but they usually like it's always the prophecy that he when their male is born of the species, they they they didn't explain it for a long time.

It took until Breath of the Wild for them to explain that the Gerudo go out and find men to have kids and they just happen to always have like female kids.

And then the men are not allowed in the town.

It took it took 30 years of game for them to explain that.

Yeah.

I feel like that was evident on some level.

But yeah, my question, I suppose, is like, what kind of ability are we looking at here with Ganon?

Like how what kind of evil is he?

Why is he evil?

He is the he is the manifestation of the concept of hate.

OK.

Well, maybe he'd be electable.

Maybe he'd be very electable.

You know what you're voting for?

He'd be electable.

It's the lesser of two evils, the actually evil or the evil you don't know.

Think about it.

Is Ganondorf going to raise my rent prices or like, well, what kind of evil is he?

Pure evil.

OK, so yeah, so that doesn't help.

Well, he's not greedy.

I don't think he doesn't care about money.

He doesn't care about like he might be a communist for all we know.

Which of the seven deadly sins is he?

Maybe he'd be like kind of all right.

I do not want to live in a world with Dorflation.

Thank you very much.

See, but OK, that's well, then you should vote for Tingle.

Tingle Flation is real because he's in balloon fight.

Yeah, Tingle would that Tingle would increase inflation.

If if Ganondorf is if Ganondorf is like of the seven deadly sins, if he's like, was it is an anger or wrath?

Tingle is lust.

He was lost.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, no disagreement.

I will say Grus at one point was considering a different running mate than Linebeck.

Linebeck was obviously the clear choice.

But if we're looking at other potential candidates for who could really run this thing, I got to throw in Beatle.

Beatle is like a worse version of Hudson, though, in that he's just kind of a con man.

Hudson's like Hudson's a pure Beatle is a tried and true capitalist.

He will not stand for Hudson's communism.

He will bring capitalism to the greater reaches of Hyrule and Termina and the Great Sea all at once across timelines.

I guess my thing is with Beatle that he has been known to actively raise prices of things you want.

Like, he is a surge price god.

So this guy looks so cartoonish.

So I was way too cartoonish for this art style.

Sorry.

I will say I get benefit of the doubt to Beatle.

He knows the he knows the use of bugs in our in our climate.

He likes bugs.

So he would not allow the pesticides to be spread freely over our crops, which would be useful for the for the ecosystem.

That's fair, but I don't know if that makes him more electable because bugs are scary.

Have you considered that Niko doesn't like bugs?

Hear me out.

Goma Goma for president.

Oh, OK.

That sounds that sounds like you're baiting me into a punch line.

No, or or it does sound like Goma balls or you know, look up Goma.

Look up Goma.

We could do Bongo Bongo.

Bongo Bongo.

He has he has no stances.

He's just cool.

OK, Goma Goma looks trust.

Oh, Goma.

Yeah.

OK.

I was not picturing the H in there for some reason.

Well, Goma, why is this Bongo Bongo?

He plays.

You don't just say that, man.

What the heck?

Why would you?

Why would you hate on Bongo Bongo like that?

That's kind of he's just trying to live his life and you're just making fun of him.

Like, this is the problem.

This is the problem in in King Rome and Princess Zelda's Hyrule that people are allowed to hate like this constantly.

All they do, all they do is punch down.

If Zelda was a good princess, she would have made it a democracy by now.

And she has to say, I'm not one to defend royalty here.

But of course, Zelda is not the policy maker.

She could you can run and I wouldn't be.

That's true.

I mean, would do you think Zelda would make a good leader?

Where is where is the queen?

Where is the yeah, it's like a child.

This is like a this is like a Scientology Shelley Miskovic thing.

Where is the queen?

No, wait, the queen couldn't have died Brody that way.

She wouldn't be Princess Zelda then she'd be Queen Zelda.

That's not how that works.

There's still a king.

Yeah, you don't want you don't want Princess Zelda to become queen as soon as her mom dies.

That gets really weird.

To be fair, we don't know.

They talk about the the bloodline of Hylia and the Hyrule royal family.

So do they think they have like a Habsburg jaw by the end of Breath of the Wild?

Absolutely.

Do we think it was?

Have you seen Bruce?

It's true.

Do we think it was a more prosperous time when when Rauru and what was the Rauru was a Hylia was that it?

I don't remember her name.

Hylia being with the goddess or no.

No, Rauru and Rauru's wife.

Oh, in Tears of the Kingdom.

Tears of the Kingdom.

Slappy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.

Queen Slappy.

You love Queen Slappy in this house.

I will say, Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom Zelda, I think.

Sonya.

Sonya.

I think Tears of the Kingdom Zelda could be a good president.

Because she seems to know the plight of her people.

She's been in prison for a hundred years saving the people.

Like, now that I'm thinking about it, she's boots on the ground, because at the end of Breath of the Wild, she says, we got to go to the Zora, because we're hearing something about Vaaruto, the giant, the giant divine beast.

So she goes and like meets the people and talks to the people.

She's a person of the people outside of the fact that she is never there when things go bad.

But that's besides the point, because she's behind the scenes, allegedly fixing it.

We don't know that for sure, but she's there, maybe.

Maybe she shouldn't be.

Yeah, I mean, maybe it is her fault.

Maybe she raised taxes too much, and that's why Ganondorf got mad.

Do you think Ganondorf likes taxes?

I think Ganondorf is a staunch libertarian.

Yeah.

So would you say, does that mean all the Bokoblins under his rule are not like hypnotized by his evil malice?

That's why they're so bad.

They're with him.

That's why they're so bad at their jobs, because there's no structure.

Because they're all Bokoblin libertarians.

Right.

Well, he's got my vote.

No Blin, no problems.

I gotta throw it out here, because I feel like they're...

They are such a powerhouse in this race, they almost beat Groose in the primaries.

The Wind Fish...

It's not real.

The Wind Fish is real.

He's not real.

The world that the Wind Fish creates is not real.

The Wind Fish exists on a higher plane of existence, like an eldritch god.

Show me a picture.

Yeah, until you can prove that the Wind Fish exists, I don't know, because every time anyone's ever acknowledged the Wind Fish, they get washed ashore like it's a Bermuda Triangle thing.

So I don't believe that for a second.

Wind fish ain't real.

We know that the Wind Fish is real.

Oh, thank you, Nicco.

We know that the Skyward Sword version of the Wind Fish is real, but that's not the Wind Fish.

That's a different that's a different fish that happens to be windy.

Checkmate.

And what was he doing when the sword wasn't skyward?

Yeah, like what if the sword points downward like the moon?

What happens is the is the sword flat?

We don't know.

What about many people?

Squidward many people are asking.

OK.

His sword sword.

The moon is not pointing downward.

I would just like to specify the moon is literally he's in pain.

The moon is in that's the one side of the moon.

There's another side of the moon.

It's not looking down.

Oh, so why don't we ever see it?

You can't.

The dark side of the moon is sad.

And then the other side sees the sun and is happy because he's like, oh, I'm getting a tan.

Is that what it is?

Like, like there's a sun.

I mean, we certainly have a that the other side of the moon is a big butt.

Are you saying are you saying that the moon is what is he hiding from us?

The moon cannot be cat dog Brody.

How does cat dog cat dog does cat dog cat dog?

Groose 2024 until until you can prove how cat dog poops, the moon cannot be cat dog because we know the moon poops because the moon cries and crying and pooping are two sides of the same coin.

Some would say we have the best moon.

Some would say we have the happiest moon.

Certainly no moon happier than why is the moon so small?

Hey, hey, it's been working on it, OK, because it's fake.

Yeah, that sounds like body shaming.

I'm not.

No, look at the moon.

He's like just relative.

This is the kind of president we want running Hyrule.

I mean, for Terminus, Earth is also kind of small.

We don't know how big Termina is, to be fair.

Well, it's a realm.

So maybe because it's on like the it's on a greater plane of like a multiverse.

So probably I can't believe this is that we don't know that we don't know that universes, universes are broadly flat.

We don't know if universes are real.

That's true.

We don't.

And if you want to know if universes are real, let us know on crub.org/join the discord.

Vote Gruce.

Let us know in the discord.

Don't explain why.

Don't tell anybody if they ask why.

Just to let us know which candidate in Zelda for president you would vote for.

If someone asked, what are you talking about?

Amen.

Don't explain.

Crub dot org slash join.

Yeah.

I try to do any other thoughts on like, do you have any other Zelda characters that have popped to mind that we we have a bunch of this is like this is a jungle election right now.

OK, the jungle primary.

I don't know that we're getting far.

No, I think we might need to establish a two party system.

Unfortunately, who's the owl?

Let's see.

Owls.

Rauru.

Well, actually, it's not Rauru in.

It is Rauru in some of the ones I've read.

There's actual isn't it Rauru in Ocarina?

Yeah, because he's Rauru and then he's also the sage.

Yeah.

So right now, right now, I'm sorry.

In our chat live on twitch.tv/crubunderscoreofficial, we stream these with exclusive pre and post shows.

In our chat, someone said Kaepora Gaborra is the name for the owl.

I think he's Rauru in one of the games later in like mm mm mm mm minute.

Just like Rauru was the first name that came to my mind.

Yeah.

And I don't know why.

They are the same person.

So it's fine.

My vote is currently with Hudson.

Personally, Hudson cares.

He's building houses like building homes, providing housing.

Yeah.

He just seems like the most has his head on his shoulders, is a family man, stands for the people, understands the need for shelter.

There is a mission in Tears of the Kingdom where he's crying because his daughter is growing up.

He cares about his family.

Yeah.

And like, honestly, this this Groose fella just kind of like you're just kind of looking at me.

This kind of what what good is a house when climate change floods the world?

And when that happens, you'll need Groose and Lineback for the skies and the seas.

The other guy there is also just kind of looking at me.

I like I just don't.

This guy's just kind of looking at me, just kind of looking at me, dude.

He's like, I mean, look, right.

He's just looking like, what are you buying typeface.

Brody, I'm gonna bounce off what Nicco said.

Why does your vice presidential candidate wear eyeliner?

I think those are bags.

I think those are just like straight up, he doesn't sleep.

Does Linebeck have sex with couches, Brody?

We can't, well, we can't say-

I can't vote for that.

We can neither confirm nor deny.

I don't know.

Like if I wanted to vote for Zelda character with eyeliner, I'd vote for the Undertaker or the lead singer of Link 182.

Like does this mean we're not voting for?

Oh crap, I can't remember his name.

I think you're thinking of the lead singer of Green Day's.

Fall Out Boy?

Um, Skyward Sword White Guy.

Squidward.

It's Squidward.

I hear him with another.

I don't know, man.

VP contender.

I don't know about that one.

Sword.

That'd be a weird one.

I don't know that.

What policies does he have?

He just chases down Zelda and is also a sword.

Yeah, I mean, he wants to bring back Demise, which is honestly more powerful than Ganondorf.

So, you know, all I'm saying is that Calamity Ganon gave up his ability to reincarnate for the good of the people at the end of Breath of the Wild.

So without without Geerahim, we wouldn't even get there.

We don't know that because Calamity Ganon is different from Ganon.

And also Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom are a closed loop of Zelda games.

So we don't know that.

Take that with your with your flat moon bullshit.

Everything.

Flat moon.

Oh, man, I think I'm I think I'm team.

Hear me out.

I think I would make Hudson the secretary of commerce in Hyrule.

I think I would go with Tears of the Kingdom, Zelda, because she has the experience of having failed during Breath of the Wild and having protected people for 100 years leading up to the events of Breath of the Wild.

So people didn't lose faith in her being there.

And she also has the distinct advantage of not looking untrustworthy.

Yeah.

And she's British, which means that well, no, then she might be a monarch.

Hold on.

No, wait.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You just you just I'm now suddenly very anti-Zelda.

Yeah.

Zelda is secretary secretary of stopping Ganondorf Hudson for president.

Secretary of Hyrule.

Isn't she?

Isn't she Hyrule?

Like isn't.

Yeah, but she speaks British.

Yeah.

Why?

The king, King Rome in Breath of the Wild speaks in American.

His accent doesn't he doesn't have his British accent.

Very interesting.

Speaks in American.

Yeah.

I mean, that's there's two dialects.

There's British and real.

Like, come on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Understandable.

True.

I don't know what you guys are talking about.

I kill him.

I guess it's technically real.

We know what the race is.

It's Linebeck, Groose and let's be clear, Linebeck is really running for president.

Like, let's we're all agreement on that.

Like, it's not Groose.

Groose is Groose is just going to survive.

He's the figurehead.

So that if anything happens, what do you mean by that?

You mean, anyway, you know, politically, or you're trying to say something?

No, just think.

Hey, isn't Linebeck cool?

Linebeck's really cool.

Does Linebeck have an actual physical beating heart?

Or does he have like a like.

Does he have like one of the pumps?

He's got a beating heart, and he's also got a-

no, not gonna finish that sentence.

I was gonna say he has a functional cock, because he's got a descendant, he's got a grandson.

He said the sentence killed him.

I was gonna say, and then you still said it.

Yeah.

I can't vote for someone who has a functional cock.

You guys are saying that all of these people, they're family men.

Linebeck has a family.

Linebeck has a grandson.

Linebeck the third.

Where is his son, though?

Linebeck the second.

Did Linebeck the second do drugs?

Did they eat their-

I mean, there's no evidence saying they didn't eat Linebeck, too.

We have not located Linebeck Jr.'s Sheikah Slate, and we're not gonna look at Linebeck Jr.'s Sheikah Slate.

Linebeck Jr., I don't know, Linebeck Jr.

could be or Linebeck's family could be functionally hamster people.

They have a hamstery face and hamsters, when stressed, eat their kids.

So, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

What if Linebeck the first, after Linebeck Jr.

had Linebeck the third, got stressed seeing that he now had to raise his out of wedlock son and his grandson.

And so he ate Linebeck Jr.

We don't know that Linebeck's not a cannibal.

It's true.

Dampy for president.

Dampy.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Dampy is the grave keeper.

Look him up.

Yeah, look up Dampy.

He's a hard working man.

I want you to describe Dampy to us, Nicco.

I want to see.

I want to hear you describe.

It's D-A-M-P-E.

OK, describe that man to us, describe that man's.

It's Luke Gallows.

OK.

Oh, oh, man, that's funny.

OK, so, yeah, this gentleman.

Wow.

He's.

I mean, he looks rather friendly, but like he's got a club foot.

He kind of walks around only at night and he sniffs graves.

He doesn't look very camped.

I'll say that.

Um, yeah, he, um, he's got an offsides, um, mouth.

I don't care about this joke anymore.

Uh, try one of the people in chat asked if Pura eventually started mass producing Pura pads so that there's social media in the world of Tears of the Kingdom.

And that's actually why Tears of the Kingdom is abbreviated as TOTK, because that's the that's the main app that they use in Hyrule on Pura pads.

Sorry.

Wait, one more thing.

He's got he's got the Habsburg jaw callback.

OK, yeah, so he's related to Zelda, then we know that.

OK, he's like the weird uncle that they're like, you know what?

You're like you're Linebeck, we're going to call you Dampy now.

Yeah, I don't know.

Grus was, of course, banned off TOTK and only posts on Power Social.

She's like, oh, you could have said Grus Social.

Yeah, I was thinking you could have said, you know, courage, wisdom, power.

It was right there.

It was it was so it was so there for you.

I think we've gotten it down to a pretty a pretty narrow field of people to vote for.

I think we could feel good knowing that no matter what, Hyrule is in hands that will be taken over by Ganondorf either way.

So our vote didn't matter.

Amen.

Yeah, it's true.

It's true.

Yeah.

So I think Dan could stop them.

I'm going to I'm going to hit a Patreon question of the week after Nicco gets his thought in.

I was going to say I have my final vote still goes to Hudson.

I think Hudson is the most I think Hudson too personally.

I he seems to use his money for good.

Yeah, like in a real way, not like like not like an not like an Elon Musk kind of way.

He just seems to be the most trustworthy character that I have heard of today.

Elon Musk looks like Dan P.

OK, so our Patreon question of the week is one that none of the other Co-Crubbers have heard yet today because I told them not to look at it.

Once I find it here in the thing, it is asked by Jack Amphajack, who asks, if you were on a mountain, who would you eat first?

Lineback.

As a reminder, our Patreon question of the week is asked by our patrons for patreon.com/crub.

It's a Google form.

You can ask as many questions as you want.

What were you going to say, Trav?

Do we have to keep it to members of Crub?

What's the rules here?

The question is, if you were on a mountain, who would you eat?

OK, got you, Austin.

So just anyone?

OK.

It's I mean, it's JTAR9.

But he's the most famous one.

Like, if I'm trapped on an island and I want to get off, I don't want to eat the main person that they're looking for.

That's true.

If you want to get off on a mountain, you don't eat JTAR9.

OK, well, then it's then it then Trav.

I'm sorry.

It'd have to be Trav.

That's fair.

I have a lot of probably you would probably have sex with him on the mountain.

You'd probably die peacefully.

I'm not going to lie.

Like, you'd probably just get like all of sleep and then stay a little over your mouth.

What are you saying?

You'll shoot me while I'm sleeping?

No, I'm saying that like I'm just saying you probably just like.

We get frostbite.

You succumb.

Yeah, you succumb.

Are we trapped on an island or trapped in the mountain?

Might be a mountain.

All things like Everest and the cave.

They're all on islands in some way.

Right.

You could be Maui.

What is Earth if not one big island?

I think Brody is safe because he's, you know, kind of thin.

Kevin, you don't have a lot of meat on you.

I hate to say it.

I mean, like maybe Muscle, but I don't want that.

Muscle, Muscle has less taste than fat.

Question mark.

I'm just saying, like, I'd finish eating and I'd be like, can I get seconds?

I'm still hungry.

Look, I we definitely don't eat Justin because we want to cuddle with Justin for warmth and fun.

Yeah, that's true.

You need warmth from Justin.

Yeah, because he's famous.

So he's so famous that people would look for him immediately.

So you don't eat him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Trav, I'm not going to lie.

I think your best bet might be me.

Yeah, I didn't want to say it, though, because I feel like.

I mean, I mean, no, it's fine.

The thing is, Niko would be the most comfortable with the cold.

But then he'd also say some shit about like Doom Eternal or something real quick.

And we'd be like, yeah, let's kill him.

He's gone first.

I'd be the first.

I'd definitely be the first to die, just naturally speaking.

Like, you know, I would succumb.

I like the idea that you die of natural causes with the way you phrased that.

Um, yeah, I mean, look, I've always been very much of the in the camp that like, if there ever is an apocalyptic scenario, I don't understand why the TV characters decide that they want to live through it.

And so, you know, if I was just stuck on a mountain like that, I think I would just honestly, sincerely, I would volunteer myself to be eaten.

I mean, after after the first off, we don't know that you don't have, you know, mad cow disease.

So there's that.

But second off, like the characters in Zelda don't give up after the Calamity.

Like they have to go on and live because that's what you do.

Well, they maybe pick, perhaps pick the wrong politician.

I'm just kidding, I would eat Heifer, the cow.

OK, yeah, it doesn't say who's on the mountain, so I would specifically take Heifer from Rocco's Modern Life and eat that shit.

I was picturing the fucking back at the barnyard.

I'm bringing a smoker to the mountain.

We're going to we're going to destroy that.

He knew like we were going to get lost.

Yeah, no, I would I would definitely eat pig who's prepared the barnyard.

No, because he wants to see you in the barnyard.

That he doesn't want to go on checking up on you.

I don't want to go.

I'm in the barnyard.

I want to see you.

Oh, my God wants to see you in the barnyard.

That's the weirdest sex I've ever gotten.

I wish I could say the same.

Oh, oh, what was yours?

Was it like a JTART9 go live notification?

If I repeat it on camera, I'm going to get shot.

It was JTART9 go live notification.

Yeah, though that's what I would eat on.

That's who I would eat on the mountain is the JTART9 go live notification.

Can you eat a notification?

If you try hard enough in this scenario, perhaps.

They didn't say who was on the mountain.

Niko's just there huddling in the cave, just like grilling his phone.

One time Chris called me and told me to kiss him through the phone.

And it was weird because we were both at Arby's together.

I just need to say that.

I just want to make sure that everyone knows because it was weird.

That's right.

Yeah, right.

Did you do it?

I mean, yeah, homies kiss.

At what cost?

Yeah, of course.

Five bucks.

Hep C.

Did you hit the bumper right there?

No, no.

Do we have any other thoughts for this episode that we want to hit on before we?

Trav, what have you been up to lately?

How's your life been going?

It's been good.

Is this a good investment in our company that we've had today?

Yeah, I think we'll see a profitable return today.

I've been like sleeping a lot because I don't know, like I got sick or something.

My sleep schedule got all screwed up.

I'm here now.

What about you?

What are you doing?

You said that and it gave me the thought of that episode of American Dad with Boys 12 and the one guy says, I'm sleepy and it says depressed underneath.

Depressed.

Yeah, no, I've been sleeping.

I've been working.

I've been doing work.

Amen.

Playing games.

Had some cool ideas for videos after Astro Bot.

I've been working.

I've been grinding.

I've been staring at my dog because he's sitting there all cute on the ground.

So I stare at him frequently until he looks at me uncomfortably.

And then I say bark and he doesn't.

And it's weird.

What have you been up to, Nicco?

I've been playing Yakuza Zero.

I really, really like Yakuza Zero.

I've also been working a lot as, you know, as usual.

It is what it is.

I went to Amsterdam a couple of weeks ago, which I didn't like super talk about.

But that's true.

You didn't have a three hour post Amsterdam podcast.

We didn't do that.

Right.

Right.

Well, I also didn't take nearly as many pictures as JTART9 did.

I mean, just you can't stop that man from taking pictures.

You can't stop.

I mean, I am thankful for them genuinely, like as much as I want to like to join in this bit.

Like I am genuinely glad that he took those pictures because, you know, and then like so I went to Amsterdam.

I really like Amsterdam.

It's fun to walk around.

It's small.

Sorry.

Don't want to go into that.

And I've been making some new metal pop punk fusion stuff that I'm really into.

And you'll hear more from me on that front.

You said you liked walking Amsterdam because it's small.

Does that mean that you think cities should be smaller or travel should be bigger?

Not that cities should be smaller, but like Amsterdam itself, like think Camerocho.

OK, but what if you had a better way to travel through cities as they scaled up in size, like you can walk through like a small, like an Amsterdam sized city.

What if you could ride a type of transit that is 30 percent larger than walking?

In a 30 percent larger city?

I have a feeling.

Trav, the horse is here.

I knew exactly as soon as you said 30 percent.

I was getting ready to crack, and I just...

He's been trying to hold it in.

As soon as you said 30 percent, I was like, god damn it.

Brody, what have you been up to?

I've just been playing games.

I've been sort of decompressing.

All right, that's been the Crubcast everybody.

Oh, my God.

No, I've done a lot of Crub stuff.

You've been picking up the load on a lot of Crub stuff.

Yeah, I mean, we did the fish bracket, and then Chris and I, I don't know what's going to go up, but Chris and I played through Freddy Fish 3, the one that has all the characters that were in the fish bracket.

I don't want to get this wrong, but I think we're going to be able to get this right.

I think by the time that this comes out on the YouTube and audio feeds, that will be up on Patreon.

That's exciting.

So, because I think we were bumping that up to move stuff around.

Yeah.

Bumping that.

Yeah.

Chris and I had a really good time with that.

I think we're going to hop in and play some of those other humongous games at some point.

I played all of them.

Chris hasn't played any of them, so it's an interesting dynamic.

Other than that, I'm playing Day of the Diver.

I just platinumed three games in a row, like in quick succession.

It went Astrobot, Dredge, and then Sly 1, the PS5 emulation.

So that's kind of it.

I don't know.

It's been kind of like a little bit of a lazy week since Ready Fish.

Yeah, you reminded me.

I'll throw out a quick indie shout out.

The new segment of the week put up a cool graphic.

Don't do that.

Audio listeners, he put up a cool graphic.

You just can't see it, so enjoy that.

Yeah, I was to another school.

I mentioned it to.

Yeah, it's Canadian.

You don't know it.

I mentioned to Brody that I played a game called Blue Fire that has been on my list of games to play for a long, long time.

And in fact, I told one of our friends about it years ago.

And then unusual trend for games that I would tell that friend about.

He then played it before I did because I was like, Oh, this is a game I want to play.

I think you'd like it, too.

And then I don't play video games for fun.

I play them for work.

So, yeah, anyway, Blue Fire is a little indie 3D platformer stylized around Zelda.

So it's like a Zelda.

There's Zelda Dungeons, except that instead of it being just combat puzzle based stuff, there's a platforming element to it.

It's a really cool little game with really good game feel, despite some jank.

And there is a bunch of Mario Sunshine styled like floodless stages that are like real platforming challenges.

And I really, really enjoyed my time with it, despite there being some jank because it's a small, I think Argentinian studio, I want to say, South America for sure.

And I recommend that.

So check that game out, because that's a game that I don't think I have any reason to talk about on my own brand.

But this is the brand where we get to talk about things we like that we don't need to worry about making videos about.

So that's one that's been in my sphere of I will maybe pick that up at some point for literally years.

And since it's come out, I think there was always something to it where I'm like, it just doesn't look like it has that, that zazz that some of the other indie ones that I've played do.

But like, I played the dumb.

Oh, swear jar.

Swear jar.

I played the the hell pie, the one that's just like provocative on purpose, trying to be Conqueror, but like is just I mean, it's got decent mechanics, like grappling with mechanics, like they're fun, especially once you get like five of them in a row.

But yeah, I played that.

So I really have no excuse for not playing Blue Fire.

Yeah, that was when you play the bumper.

It's an interesting one.

It's an interesting one because like it also goes for like an intentionally soulsy, anti level design level design.

So there's a lot of areas that are just a bunch of pipes.

And it's like, hey, figure it out.

And that's not good game design.

And it's not good platformer design.

And there's there's more stuff like that where it's like, it's definitely not well designed in some in some standpoints, simply because there's no map.

So like there's areas that seem similar.

There are only a few areas, but there are areas that seem similar enough that you're like, I don't remember if that's the entrance to get to that.

And one of the things you have to do is find a specific exit out of each of the areas to get to a specific boss.

Like there's a platform you have to step on in a central room, but you need to get to that room from behind a gate from four other parts of the map.

And if you don't know which ones you need with no map, good luck.

It's kind of just like there's it goes to like the Metroid Metroid Prime fetch quest stuff way too early in the game because it's very clear they they had an idea and then realized, oh, we can't make this the game we wanted to.

So they tease their being five gods and then only have two dungeons and then say, here's the end of the game.

You know, the Demon Souls method.

Kind of actually.

Yeah.

And the DLC was very good, though, that there's a free DLC that came with it that added a bunch more like harder platforming segments that are just like very contained.

And it also made a hub from which you can do all the platforming challenges one after the other if you want to, because you had to go find them in the world like they're like they're like shrines.

So they put all they put copies of all the shrines in one room, which is really cool.

That's cool.

Yeah.

Neat game.

I think I got it for a dollar a couple of years ago, so you can definitely get it for cheap.

Give it a look.

Let Trav know how you like it and travel.

Give you a thumbs down emoji in response.

He did it.

He did it.

Yeah, but the green screen cut that off.

So he was holding his fist out.

I rated a hand out of five.

Let's go.

Yeah.

Any other games that we're looking forward to in the next few weeks that we might not be able to talk about on air?

Because Zelda is coming out, obviously.

Yeah.

I mean, that'll be out by the time this goes up.

But yeah, obviously looking forward to that.

I think my big ones are coming up to the end of the year are, yeah, Zelda, Shadow Generations, yeah, Mario Party Jamboree.

Say Super Mario Party Jamboree.

Get it right.

Super Mario Party Jamboree.

And of course, so I have to tell this story.

Niko asked in our group chat at one point, he was like, is Mario Party Jamboree like a Mario Party for kids?

Because he was like, why is it called Jamboree?

That's a word for kids.

That's the funniest thing I think he's ever said.

Just quote, well, especially, sorry.

Quote, what is this, a Mario Party for kids?

And I like, you're never going to believe this, bro.

After I said that, I was like, no, wait a minute.

Is this a dumb baby game for kids?

It's a real hardcore Mario Party for real gamers like me and my friends.

Oh no, you guys have seen me play Mario Party.

I was, if anything, I was like, oh, oh, there's finally one that I can like compete in.

Because it's for kids, it's easier, right?

It's easier.

Now that I think about it, I think I know why it's called Super now, because we joked about why is it called Super?

Because it's just a really, it's a lengthy name.

Super Mario Party Jamboree is probably because the mini games are all motion based.

Yeah, it's a follow up mechanically to Super Mario Party.

I wish that Super Mario Party Jamboree had the fire emblem mode.

And the custom, I don't know if it has the custom blocks, but what like romancing?

No, I mean, yeah, I want to kiss Luigi.

The Super Mario Party had a mode where it was a grid based version of each of the maps, and you could move in whichever space directions you wanted to.

Oh, which was interesting.

But I think ultimately they sacrificed the boards of the main game and or sell it.

Oh, I agree.

Yeah, same board.

I agree.

But but it was that combined with each character having their own specific dice.

So you could use a regular dice or you could use Rosalina's dice, which was like you only had certain numbers, but you had up to 12 instead of 10.

Yeah, it almost seems like that was trying to push that mode more than the main one.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I think that's a fun idea, because I think that I would like to have permadeath so that we can kill Luma once and for all.

Yeah.

Luma should die.

I firmly disagree with that one.

We're big Luma fans over here.

I am too.

That's why I want him dead.

I'm it's like a it's mercy kill.

OK, understood.

So yeah, I read Catcher in the Rye.

So I want Luma to die.

Right.

Right.

Um, I don't think I have any games in.

What are your PS3 idiot?

Right.

Well, here's what I'm saying.

After I finish Yakuza 0, I will have played every pretty much every game I've ever bought.

What about Yakuza 3 remastered?

So it's finally time to play Deathloop.

That's what you're saying.

Or Yakuza 4 remastered on PlayStation 4.

Yeah, right.

Going to more Yakuza.

This game is already eating up.

Remastered on PlayStation 4.

God, this game is already eating up so much of my bandwidth.

Or Yakuza 6 on PlayStation 4.

I'm actually excited to get to 6.

I really like to kill one of me too.

That one's called Song of Life on PlayStation 4.

Right, right.

Or Yakuza 7, also known as Yakuza Like a Dragon on PlayStation 4 and 5.

Right.

I think I have the PS4 version.

Or Like a Dragon Gaiden, the man who erased his name on PlayStation 4 and 5.

Would you want to continue?

Or Like a Dragon on PlayStation 5.